The mayors of sister cities Santa Fe and Nuevo Teotihuacan, Rialdo Cameron Santiago de Pre and Campos Rose-Avila, are scheduled to duel for the second time in nine years.
The most recent dustup began in March with insults exchanged at the welcome brunch in Santa Fe for the NueTe Youth League. The two mayors, who were acquainted as teenagers, were heard insulting each other’s high school sports performances.
Several months later, the fracas escalated at the formal mixer for the Santa Fe, NueTe, Yukon, and Malta students participating in Santa Fe’s Youth League Retinue this year. Rose-Avila and a group of students chanted “One, two, three” in reference to the de Pre’s old batting average. In response, the Santa Fe mayor interrupted the live band to take the microphone and announce his intention to feast on the souls of Rose-Avila’s ancestors.
The next morning, conscious of attracting negative attention to the city’s Retinue program and expressing concern over the poor example being displayed to the visiting students, Retinue administrators and Santa Fe City Council officials announced a duel.
Following the practice begun seven years ago with the Cinnamon Roll Aggressions Incident in Yucatan, a randomly selected high school in the same time zone was asked to come up with a duellable challenge. Members of the student council of Vicuna Verde Secondary Ecole in Timalpa, Peru decided on best-of-three-rounds of Catatonia Catastrophe, with a handicap of random reduction of left-rudder function, up to and including 7% total function. The losing mayor must wear a neon-green spiked mohawk wig for 30 days. He is excused from wearing it during document-signing ceremonies, diplomatic meetings, and formal portraits.
Readers will remember that the same duo is responsible for the new duelling rules instituted after their initial showdown nine years ago, when they were city council members of their respective cities. The two insisted on fighting with gasoline-soaked flaming swords while standing on a small barge travelling down the Reclaimed Rio Grande in Albuquerque.
Since that event, Fly Eye has refused to broadcast coverage of duels involving actual weapons unless both participants have been trained and certified on the Lagos-Yale Fencing System and are using approved equipment.
